I'd like to talk to you about suicide

Of all the topics related to mental illness, suicide triggers some of the worst reactions. And to be honest, I can understand why people don't want to talk about it. But here's the thing. Do you really think people who are suicidal want to think about it? How can we figure out how to stop suicide if everyone is afraid to talk about it?

I recently read an article in The Mighty that was about how patients with different categories of suicidal attempts are treated differently. The author, a nurse, describes how patients whose attempt is more "serious," or had more life-threatening results will be treated with understanding, compassion and patience. Those with "less serious" attempts (a non-lethal dose of medication or non-life threatening injuries) receive less sympathy are are described as a "waste of time."

However, I, like this nurse, believe anyone who is purposely self-harming needs to be taken seriously and cared for kindly. You never truly know a person's intention if they end up surviving a suicide attempt. Were they actually trying to succeed? Was it a "cry for help?" But it doesn't matter. The fact is, a suicide attempt means serious mental illness (note the lack of quotes this time).

The author of this piece said something that really resonated with me: "Just because I didn’t end up in the emergency department didn’t make my determination to kill myself less serious." 


Most of us with depression and anxiety issues are silent about them, so it makes sense that people ask, "Why?" after a suicide. Often, you hear, "Why didn't he/she talk to me about it? They should have come to me." But we must remember, this is a mental illness. Not only do we feel as though we'd be bothering you with our issues, but the fact it, the stigma alone is enough to stop someone from reaching out.

There are so many emotions that admitting you feel suicidal can bring up - both for yourself and those you're telling. We feel isolated, terrified, empty, and talking about suicidal thoughts can pile onto that. The challenge is to create a supportive environment. Many times, those with mental illness aren't looking for your answers. I'm sorry, but this is true. We aren't asking you to fix us. We aren't trying to get answers to questions. We don't really want advice.

We just want you to listen.

The fear of being committed to a treatment center is also a major barrier to discussing suicide. Although in some cases, this may be necessary, but those with suicidal thoughts want to be normal. My advice for those with mental illness: As hard as it may be, try to start the conversation. And as always, you're not alone.

For family and friends of those with mental illness, just because your loved one is depressed, DOES NOT mean they are suicidal. Please be gentle. Create that supportive environment. Listen. Provide a shoulder to cry on, if need be. In severe cases, don't be afraid to take action. I'll even admit that our minds aren't always in the right place, and sometimes we need a push to do the right thing.

The science behind exercise & depression

I've never been a fan of running. Not only am I horribly uncoordinated, but it just feels silly. So when it comes to exercise, I've had to find other ways to get my heart pumping. In a past blog on the how exercise can fight depression, I discussed how a quick work out can have benefits beyond physical health. With summer right around the corner, I thought I'd bring back the topic and discuss the chemical and scientific reasons behind why exercise helps treat depression.

Now, I fully support the use of antidepressants in cases where they're called for. However, (as you may assume from the title of this blog) I believe overcoming depression and anxiety takes more than medication. And for those like me, who are no longer on antidepressants, exercise can be a great way to right the bad days.

There have been many articles and studies focused around the effects of physical activity and exercise on depression. One that hit me recently was a doctor who shared her personal experiences with how depression can treat depression. In this article, Dr. Jennifer Closshey stresses the importance of regular exercise to treat depression, rather than as a one-time activity. Granted, a one-time exercise can help you feel better, but it will be for the short term.

It's still unclear to medical professionals exactly why exercise helps depression and anxiety, but it's agreed that exercise does have benefits. Exercise releases what the article calls "feel good" chemicals, like endorphins and endocannabinoids. Other evidence is that exercise reduces immune system chemicals and increases body temperature. Because immune system chemicals can make depression worse, exercise helps detoxify your system. Evidence also shows that a higher body temperature has a relaxing effect.

Other non-chemical benefits include:

• Self confidence and improved self esteem
• Increased social interaction
• Distraction from negative thoughts

What science doesn't tell us is exactly how often to exercise and the level of intensity. Because no two people are the same and depression hits people differently, it's safe to assume there's no set-in-stone exercise time. 

My suggestion is to just go for it. Start slow - this is a good rule of thumb for anyone that's just starting an exercise routine. Exercise moderately a few times a week, but don't push yourself too hard. If you keep up an exercise routine, you'll naturally become stronger and push yourself harder. You may not notice the effects at first, but it's vital to not give up. Almost no treatment in this world is instantaneous. You may hate hearing it, but it's true: as with everything else in life, just keep at it. Don't give in. You're stronger than you know.