And that's where I'd like to start with my first blog of 2017: Decisions. Making decisions, especially on the big things, is so easy for some people. But for those suffering from a mental illness...well, you might as well just hand us a grenade and tell us to throw it. Those without a mental illness don't see the potential problems hiding behind, "What do you want for dinner?" Have you ever just wanted to scream, "I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT"? The problem is, their next question is always, why don't you know what you want?
My News Year's Resolution is focused on decision-making, something that has plagued me my entire life. My mom figured out pretty quickly that asking me to do anything or make any decisions on the spot was a bad idea, even prior to my diagnosis. It's something I've struggled with for many years, and the decisions only seem to get more important the older I get. That's why I've decided to start making decisions.
What, you say, you always make decisions! How did you eat breakfast this morning if you couldn't make a decision? Not those kinds of decisions, silly. I mean the big ones. The buying a house ones. The buying a car after driving around on a death trap for four years decisions. And I'm not going to take 65 million years to make those decisions either. It's time to be more impulsive. I am a big girl and I know what makes me happy, so why don't I make decisions that I know will make me happy? That's a good question for anyone with a mental illness.
Are you making decisions that make you happy? Do you even know what makes you happy? Think about your last plunge into depression. I know it was hard, but you must remember your first good day afterwards. Take that day as an example of what makes you happy. What did you do? Who did you talk to? What did you eat? Keeping track of the things that make you happy - even the small ones - can be the key to making decisions in the future.
(Sorry about the cheesy quote, but it's true)
If you're like me and you're a constant over-thinker and over-planner, impulsive decisions can be scary. But they can also pay off.
My challenge for anyone with a mental illness is to make an impulsive decision. It doesn't have to be anything major. It could be going out for lunch during the work day when you normally take lunch in the office. It could be going to a movie by yourself, even though you're afraid you'll be judged. It could be booking a flight on that vacation that you've been thinking about. Hey, you ran the numbers and you can afford it, why not?
You're more prepared for change than you realize.
