We've all heard it before: "Just think about something else." What the people saying this don't understand is that people with anxiety problems are almost ALWAYS thinking about "something else." When the average person (a person without mental health issues) is worried about something, it's usually possible to find a distraction or to come back to the issue later. For those with anxiety and overthinking problems, although they may have the ability to "think about something else," the real problem is always at the back of their minds.
In my (relatively) short experience with knowing I have problems with overthinking, I've realized very few people actually understand what it is. Although I can't speak for everyone, it's along these lines. You have some sort of issue in life - money is a common one, so let's go with that. You are making a big financial decision: buying a house with a partner. A person who doesn't struggle with anxiety may still consider this a major decision, but they are able to put together a coherent list of questions and concepts that are realistic for their situation.
On the other hand, a person with anxiety problems may start by taking realistic steps but is consumed by the negative possibilities. What if I can't afford a down payment? What if I don't get approved for a mortgage? What if I get stuck living in a bad neighborhood? Then my car could get broken into or stolen. Then I have to pay for a new car as well. What if my partner leaves me? Then I would have to sell the house. Where would I live? Would I be able to afford somewhere else to live? Would anyone take me in? Does anyone care enough to take me in? I don't want to bother anyone by asking...
You get the point.
Of course, anyone would worry about affording a home. And this is just one example. The real problem is that thoughts run wild, spiraling out of control until people with anxiety are too hesitant to make major, life-changing decisions. Once again, I can't speak for everyone, but in my personal experience, and for those I've spoken to, this is a common theme.
I want to stress the word "hesitant" here. People with anxiety aren't necessarily afraid of these situations. We just recognize that about a million and one things can possibly go wrong, and that makes it harder to commit to big changes.
My solution: Mindfulness training. Although there's not cure for overthinking, we can learn to manage it. I've done in-person mindfulness meditation and listened to audio for meditation exercises, and they've worked wonders. The trick with mindfulness is to relax your body and brain enough to recognize your own thoughts. Recognize the good thoughts, the bad thoughts, the distractions - and yes, the overthinking. When you are able to tell yourself, this is a thought I'm having and it doesn't control me, you are able to move on. Control is a big issue for those of us with anxiety, and mindfulness gives you just a little more control over your mind.
Continue mindfulness training long enough, and you'll be able to identify and control your overthinking without meditating. I've included a link to a video from the Center for Mind-Body Medicine and the Veteran's Health Administration which includes one of my favorite meditation techniques: Soft Belly Meditation. It requires you to focus so much on breathing and your physical presence that there's no time to overthink. Remember, recognizing you have control over your own thoughts is the first step to healthy thinking.
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